We’re just guessing, of course, as Jesus never explicitly mentions Santa in his quoted teachings. Ho ho ho.
Mall of America has a black Santa this year, and if the Trump electoral college win didn’t draw out racists like rats to a world-record cheese, then boy, will having a black Santa at your mall do the trick.
In an act of projection that rivals the skills of the Circus Peanut in Chief himself, some racists protesting the Santa–who, we’ll remind everyone, is a mythical fellow who co-opts reindeer to fly around the world at heights that aren’t humanly possible to deliver gifts to children whose behavior he’s creepily tracked all year–having a black man as Santa is … “cultural appropriation.”
Here are some other egregious acts of cultural appropriation involving Santa:
Kermit. It’s true. He does this kind of thing a lot, and he engages in interfelt dating, too. The horror.